In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Stage Three Lung Cancer. As a non-smoker, in his early forties, this came as quite a shock. The timing couldn’t have been worse either. I’d worked in a full-time job for only six months, having spent the four years prior to that studying for a degree in Criminology and Social Policy. In addition to the degree, I’d re-sat my Maths and English GCSEs as well as an Access to Higher Education course, covering Sociology, Psychology and History. The fact that I had spent these four years back in education meant that, without two years’ worth of recent National Insurance contributions, I was not entitled to Employment Support Allowance. Furthermore, having been working for only six months, my entitlement to sick pay was limited.
That said, my employers went far beyond their obligations in this regard. Whilst still numb from the shock of a cancer diagnosis, many other problems began to accumulate. I am fortunate enough to have a loving and supportive wife, Sally, and we have got two beautiful children together, currently aged two and four. The efforts required to run a household containing two small children are both gargantuan and never ending. My condition meant that I quickly became unable to partake in my fair share of household duties, putting extra pressure on Sally. At this point, things were really getting on top of both of us, and there were no signs of anything getting better anytime soon. We were reduced to tears on an almost daily occurrence.
Around about this time, we became aware of a lady called Fler, and her wonderful charity called Wolo. (We Only Live Once). Fler met us for a coffee and bought us lunch. That in itself was a much-needed treat and the food was delicious (The Grumpy Chef in Seaford). Fler asked about our situation and listened carefully as we described all of the aspects of our lives which had suffered the adverse effects of my cancer diagnosis. Fler is a great listener and the experience was entirely therapeutic. Sally and I actually enjoyed some rare laughter as we tucked in to our dessert. Thanks, Fler, again for that.
Since meeting Fler for lunch that day, Wolo have had a tremendous and positive impact on our lives. Fler put us in touch with a cleaner called Mel who visits our house once a week with members of her team. They give the house a thorough blitz and work their magic throughout. In addition to this, when Fler learned that the dampness in our house was causing respiratory problems for me, she provided us with enough dehumidifiers to entirely eliminate the dampness throughout the whole house. The house is now a lot closer to being clean, dry and dust free; which has really helped my breathing.
Wolo. have also been helping us out with childcare. We already had some childcare in place but our budget was already stretched to its limit. Fler asked us for the details of the childminder and arranged to pay her directly. We now just book it as needed. This has enabled me to attend counselling sessions with MacMillan. It has also allowed Sally to return to work part-time. It has been incredible to receive help in such a way that allowed us to continue using our existing childminder. Her name is Hayley and she has built up a really good relationship with both kids over these last few years.
Sadly, in December 2019, I received the devastating news that my cancer had spread and is now at Stage Four. An additional tumour has developed in my lungs and further tumours had also developed in my right thigh bone, prostate and groin area. The tumour in my thigh bone was particular troubling and required an immediate and intensive session of radiotherapy. I was told that this would initially cause further pain in my leg but, hopefully, the pain would reduce over the coming weeks. The resulting pain was so intense that I was unable to walk more than a few steps, or put any weight on my right leg. Again, Wolo came to the rescue and provided me with a folding walking stick. This enabled me to go for short walks and get out of the house.
It’s currently April 2020 and we are under lock-down conditions due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Fler has continued to find ways in which to help up, even under these difficult conditions. A few days ago, we had a surprise package turn up, addressed to the kids. Inside was an abundance of crafting materials including projects, colouring in pages, craft kits, and a monster pack of felt-tipped pens. My kids have had all sorts of fun with the contents of this box. My eldest daughter, Eleanor, presented me with a heart shaped keyring that she had made with some of the content of this wonderful box. I shall treasure this keyring for the rest of my life.
The following day, another box turned up. This time, the box contained treats for the whole family. Fler had arranged for a local supplier to put together a box of fresh produce and essentials. There was fresh fruit and veg, pasta, sauce, bread and many other items, all topped off with a bunch of freshly cut flowers.
The last year really has been, in so many ways, the worst ever year for me, my wife and my kids. Without the generosity of Fler and Wolo I can’t even imagine where we’d be right now. We really can’t thank Wolo enough for all of the help that they have given us throughout these truly terrible times.
